tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4665052536053897386.post5242228621514103823..comments2023-09-16T15:03:34.579+07:00Comments on Adam Heine: Dialogue AlgorithmAdam Heinehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/02225813532455467868noreply@blogger.comBlogger3125tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4665052536053897386.post-83511924553403843292009-06-24T09:57:37.493+07:002009-06-24T09:57:37.493+07:00These are good ideas. I especially like number th...These are good ideas. I especially like number three.<br /><br />A huge breakthrough for me was realizing that, if you've just written an action clearly executed by one character, you can then launch into dialogue without hitting return and without using speech tags at all. For years, I was under the strange impression (I swear a teacher told me this) that a line of dialogue by someone who wasn't already speaking <i>had</i> to start on a new line. Thus, I would write things like:<br /><br />Sarah slammed the door.<br />"I'm home," she said.<br /><br />When it's much more clean and efficient simply to write:<br /><br />Sarah slammed the door. "I'm home."<br /><br />As regards number two of your list, I prefer "said Sam" pretty strongly, so I generally don't use "Sam said." When you substitute a pronoun for the name, you practically always put the verb second, so you end up getting variation anyway. Numbers four and five can be risky. My personal rule is that if it describes how the line was said (in a way that isn't evident from the words), then go for it - so "shouted Sam" is fair game. If, however, the action verb or adverb tells the reader something the line already tells them, I'd skip it. For example, there's no need to say:<br /><br />"Bet you can't do better!" Sam challenged.<br /><br />Because what he's said is a challenge. (I've even heard of people writing, <i>"I'm sorry," he apologized.</i>)<br /><br />Similarly, you don't need to say:<br /><br />"Well, I'm <i>so</i> glad my injury makes you feel better," said Sarah sarcastically.<br /><br />The sarcasm is pretty clear. If you want, you can make her roll her eyes or something - it's a few extra words, but it's a nice way to show instead of tell. :)Anonymousnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4665052536053897386.post-48230217385298066612009-06-05T13:49:55.816+07:002009-06-05T13:49:55.816+07:00That is the beauty of it, Hilary. And, as I said, ...That <i>is</i> the beauty of it, Hilary. And, as I said, these are just guidelines. Though the idea (at least in my head) is that you would hardly ever get down to #5. I know how bad adverbs are. I've killed enough of them.<br /><br />Good comment about silence. I love tossing in a "He said nothing" or "He had no answer to that" in lieu of a line of dialogue.<br /><br />Probably I like it too much. I've caught that a couple of times too, though not as often as my other problems.Adam Heinehttps://www.blogger.com/profile/02225813532455467868noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4665052536053897386.post-89848406417924814382009-06-05T13:44:43.281+07:002009-06-05T13:44:43.281+07:00I think Stephen King would have a problem with #5....I think Stephen King would have a problem with #5. Something about "Tom Swifties" - maybe I'm way off base.<br /><br />When I write dialogue, I try to make it sound as natural as possible and attempt to balance “on-the-nose” with subtext. Interjecting physical movement is important, as well as reactions. A gaze shifting or a step back can be just as clear as if someone said, “I don’t like what you’re suggesting.” Sometimes movement / physicality can be used in lieu of spoken words and given its own paragraph. Silence can be powerful. Maybe it makes another character in the scene squirm a little, just like in real life. <br />Every writer is different in their approach – that’s the beauty of it all, right?<br /><br />HHSHilabeanshttps://www.blogger.com/profile/15503151421758981943noreply@blogger.com