7 Things You Never Wanted to Know

I have been coerced by the hilarious and talented K. Marie Criddle to tell you 7 things about myself. I'll understand if you stop reading the blog after this.

I first beat Super Mario Bros. 2 on Wednesday, February 15, 1989. That's right, I KNOW THE DATE.

The Care Bears Movie still creeps me out.

I learned to play Bryan Adam's "Everything I Do" on the piano to impress girls. It worked once. We broke up 2 months later.

I straighten things obsessively, especially board games. My wife, Cindy, used to taunt me in Ticket to Ride by intentionally bumping her trains out of place, because she knew it drove me crazy. (I do love her, though. Really.)

One day, we were on vacation with my family and teaching them Ticket to Ride. Cindy said, "It's fun to bug Adam with this game. Watch." She bumped a train out of place, and every single member of my family shouted, "What are you doing?!" and moved to straighten it.

I love my family.

When I was a kid, I stapled my thumb trying to put together my first novel (an illustrated Choose Your Own Adventure). After crying, running to Mom, getting a tissue, and waiting for the blood to clot, I went back to the novel and STAPLED MY THUMB AGAIN.

In order of increasing terror, the creatures I am most phobically afraid of are: spiders, scorpions, facehuggers.

Presented without comment:

Yeah, I think we're done here.


Susan Kaye Quinn said...

OMG you could be Mighty Mite in that picture! There are all manner of signs around our house saying things like "CAUTION!" and "PRIVATE!" and "STAY OUT THIS MEANS YOU!" And also clubs.

Who's the short one? :)

p.s. I'll still come back.

Deniz Bevan said...

Neat post Adam! Funny, DH used to write his own choose your own adventures too! As for me... I've never stapled a finger but I did hole punch the skin between thumb and forefinger once. Ow!
Love the train story!

Joshua McCune said...

I also despise scorpions... have found 2 in the past weeks... lying dead on the carpet, which made me wonder: how the heck did they get in to our home? why are they (thankfully dead)?

Keriann Greaney Martin said...

Ha ha, I love the trains too and that your whole family has the same quirk. I don't like scorpions and spiders either, but what really gets me is pincher bugs (a.k.a. earwigs). They freak me out! It's weird because they can't bite or sting. Whenever Hubs finds them, he tries to grab them and throw them outside before I notice and then tells me later. The bowl cut is awesome, by the way.

Myrna Foster said...

Number four is my favorite.

K. Marie Criddle said...

Holy cow, number 5 made me cry laughing. Your pain isn't funny but it's just so. dang. apropos. Is this not the publishing process in a nutshell?

You rock, Adam!

Adam Heine said...

@Keriann: Earwigs remind me of those bugs from Wrath of Khan and the new Star Trek. Yeah, I can definitely see how those would be creepy :-)

Cindy Heine said...

You know your handwriting hasn't changed that much since then. :)

I think I love you even more after reading this post!

Adam Heine said...

Cindy was sad because I'd never told her about #1 or #5. Regarding #1, I said, "You wouldn't have wanted to know that." (She nodded). "And anyway, I told you about my journal where I recorded every game I beat and on what day."

Carrien Blue said...

lol @ #4 I straighten too. :)

Also love Cindy's comment. Hi Cindy.

fairyhedgehog said...

These are brilliant!

L. T. Host said...

There is nothing about this post that I don't love. This is the perfect blog post. The entire internet can stop now, Adam reached the pinnacle of it all.

In some ways, it's a relief, you know. Knowing I can never live up to this.

Andrew Heine said...

I'm the short one

Adam Heine said...

I thought so, Andrew. You must be hiding. You were never THAT much shorter than me.

Nancy said...

Re #4, last night we watched NCIS Los Angeles and there was this car rental agent who was OCD, and Deeks, the detective kept slightly moving his papers. Dad says, most people probably wouldn't notice this bit. Heines, of course, would be crazed.
RE #5 I once stapled my finger trying to load the stapler, and the teacher I worked for threw the stapler in the garbage can and said, "Bad stapler". I loved her so much!

Nancy said...

And also, I hate pincher bugs too. Our kindergarten bathroom was overrun with them, needless to say I never went pee in there.....Weird because scorpions are much more "dangerous" and I am not scared of them, just hate them....