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This week we have the query for THE FIRE LOTUS, a YA urban fantasy from Renee Ahdieh. My overall thoughts are at the end. As always, this is all just my opinion. Your mileage may vary.
Jia Ryan was supposed to start college in three weeks, not get struck by a bolt of lightning and die in front of her family.
|I like the voice, but there's a lot of|
stuff going on here all of a sudden.
Simplified sentence structures might
What’s more, she’s pretty sure she wasn’t meant to wake up in a lab days later with a scientist hovering over her, welcoming her into the world of the living dead. Yeah, and that’s not even calling to question the irritatingly serene genie nearby. Or his strange request that she take up arms in their ongoing struggle against reanimated corpses held under the sway of a powerful sorcerer. Right. Not so much, Master Yoda.
After all, this isn’t her fight. She’s only eighteen, for crying out loud.
|I feel like the questions are getting|
to be a little much. Just my opinion.
Wait. She gets to train in a slew of martial arts? Learn how to wield a katana? And, hold the phone, somebody probably should have mentioned that the young samurai teaching her is darkly enigmatic and sexier than sin.
Okay. This might not totally suck.
As she settles into her new role as an undead warrior, Jia soon learns that the aforementioned
baddie sorcerer intends to unleash the full brunt of his mind-controlling blood sorcery onto mankind. Once she begins to grasp that the idyllic world she existed in for eighteen years is being threatened, there’s no going back.
This is now her fight.
THE FIRE LOTUS is an 80,000-word
work of YA urban fantasy with series potential.
This is pretty good. I love the voice, and there's a clear conflict here. There's no sadistic choice like I keep harping on, but I think the mentions of samurai and undead warriors sufficiently distracted me from that fact ;-)
One thing to be careful of is to make sure the voice doesn't get in the way. It's a great voice, like I said, but there were a couple of times I felt it was a bit too much. Now that's totally just my opinion; others might feel differently. And really, it's just a nitpick.
And if you did have a sadistic choice to build up to at the end, I think this might be perfect.
But that's just me. What do the rest of you guys think?