Fury of the Phoenix Giveaway!

Cindy Pon's latest book, Fury of the Phoenix, is due to come out next week. I love the ancient-China-like world Cindy has created, and I really want to know what happens after Silver Phoenix! From the website:
When Ai Ling leaves her home and family to accompany Chen Yong on his quest to find his father, haunted by the ancient evil she thought she had banished to the underworld, she must use her growing supernatural powers to save Chen Yong from the curses that follow her. Part supernatural page-turner, part love story, and altogether stirring, Fury of the Phoenix further heralds the arrival of Cindy Pon as a stellar author of paranormal romance and fantasy.
Want a copy of this book? Here's what you have to do.

TO WIN 2 BOOKS: Fury of the Phoenix and it's prequel, Silver Phoenix, you must write some bad sequel dialog in the comments. See, when an author writes a sequel, they have to somehow catch new readers up on what came before. Clearly the best way is to have the characters talk about the prequel for the reader's sake. For example:*

     "You remember that time the evil Dr. Shiv nearly killed us all with his plan to clone razor-toothed marsupials?"
     "Oh yeah! We would be his slaves now if you hadn't discovered your latent ability to cause animal shedding just by singing Bad Romance. Thanks, by the way."
     "No problem. It's too bad I never figured out who I love more: you or your twin brother."
     "I know, right? I was meaning to ask you about-- Hey, is that Dr. Shiv on the news?"

The one I deem funniest will win. Length is unimportant (though you know: brevity, wit, etc). The sequel in question can be fake, as above, or for an actual novel, whether a true sequel exists or not. Heck, even for a movie, I don't care.**

Alternatively, TO WIN A COPY OF Fury of the Phoenix, all you have to do is comment on this post, and I will randomly choose a winner.

Winners will be announced next Wednesday, March 30. An entry to the 2-book package is automatically an entry to the random drawing (though you can't win both). Contest is open internationally. Spreading news of the contest is encouraged, but not required.

I can answer any other questions in the comments. Have fun!

* The nature of this contest is in no way related to actual Fury of the Phoenix dialog (I haven't even read it yet!). I just thought it would be funny.

** If you do write fake dialog for an actual sequel, keep in mind that I might not have read the books in question. I'd hate for a great joke to be wasted just because I never read Pride and Prejudice or something.


Matthew MacNish said...

Wow. I love Asian culture. What a great fantasy setting it must make!

I'm no good at making up dialog like that, but good luck to all who try!

Anonymous said...

"Oh my God, Jenna! You survived the one-eyed, one-horned, flying purple people eater attack?"
"Barely- I pulled on a pair of short shorts and bent over; the creature thought I was the moon. But look at you! How did you get away from the zombie deluge of Manhattan?"
"Adam sacrificed his life to get me a pair of iPod speakers. I wrapped the cords around my neck, played Rebecca Black as loudly as I could, and all the zombies stayed away from me. Now I'm on a hunt to find the New New Earth Disinfectant so we can cure all the zombies. You'll come too, right?"
"Right! And on the way, maybe we'll find out if super-hot-Tyler survived. We've both had crushes on him for so long; he has to survive so he can create a tense dynamic between us and ultimately imperil the world by having to make a choice of you or me."
"Great idea! Let's go!"


This was fun- even just for that, thank you.

AmyC ~ said...

'remember that guy that was in that movie with that other guy'

'- and that girl, yeah totally'.

I'm not good at it either, lol.

jjdebenedictis said...

Mary cooed. "Jack, how do you like my new dress?"

"It's incredibly sexy!" Jack ejaculated.

"That satisfies me." Mary sighed.

"I'm almost done." Jack sputtered.

"Hurry and finish. I've decided what I'll say to that snake, Candice." Mary hissed.

"That sounds good." Jack replied affirmatively. "Will she be with Ian?"

"DON'T TALK TO ME ABOUT IAN!!!" Mary shouted loudly.

"I can if I want. I really like that fellow." Jack ejaculated once more.

Lori M. Lee said...

Kaitlin collapsed into Trent's arms. "Oh, Trent!" she cried. "You're alive! You didn't get killed by the evil Lavinia who tried to destroy the Portals of Destiny after all!"

"That's right." Trent kissed Kaitlin's forehead. "When Lavinia used her Wand of Darkness to cast me into the Abyss, it actually sent me to the Blue Moon Temples."

"You mean that place I told you I had taken refuge in after our tumultuously forbidden love was discovered by my father?"

"Yes, that's the one. My heart must have taken me there. It's a good thing you discovered that you're actually the daughter of your kindly uncle who adores me and we can be together after all now that you've forsaken your domineering adopted father."

"I know, right?"

Then they embraced.

Susan Kaye Quinn said...

My brain is zapped, so no dialogue. But I must needs read these books! Also, what do you mean you haven't read Pride and Prejudice?? Ok, I haven't either (just the movie), but that just seems wrong.

Heather Zundel said...

"Let's go. We must hurry to Mount Sin."

"Varen, you mean so we can find out you if you are not really the son of your father who is a farmer but may in fact have royal lineage flowing in your veins, and your mother died because she kept you secret because the evil Lord Goranthianolian received a prophecy from a wandering gypsy who said a child with a glaring star birthmark on their forehead is the only thing that could destroy his evil empire at the solar eclipse sixteen years hence, which just happens to be this summer, but your fake mother, who is actually your mother's nurse maid who ran away with you on your real mother's order to save your life kept this great secret from you for unknown reasons until now, and we only know about it because of Moira, who we thought was a boy but is a girl who was dressed as a boy so she could avenge her father's death and whose death may be from the hands of Lord Goranthianolian's most trusted war leader and chief commander, Tim, and is only exceeded in evil by the great lord himself, and for a little bit we thought she was related to you, but that turned out to not be true, which is a good thing for you, and now we have to travel across hundred of miles to Mount Sin and seek the wisdom of an old shaman woman who lives on a volcano for no apparent reason and see if you truly are the star child of the great prophecy, and we have to do it before the month wears out so we still have time to assemble an army, make new friends, probably pick up a talking cat, and a couple of side quests along the way to deter us, oh, and Moira will probably be kidnapped at some point as well and we will have to rescue her, and do it all in an logistically impossible short amount of time, and save the world?

"Yes, exactly. Saying it like that makes it sound horrible. Please don't ever say it like that again."

"Yes, young possible lord."

rebeccamallary said...

Oh! Me me me! Pick me for Fury of the Phoenix! You can't see it, but I am smiling winningly at you....

rmallary @ marlboro . edu

Anonymous said...

umm... I can't do it, not with all the pressure! But I know how to read to winning a book would be handy.

Hepius said...

Soooo busy. Will attemp to win by comment. They sound like great books!

Crystal said...

I read Silver Phoenix last year and ABSOLUTELY LOVED IT! Can't wait to read the sequel now . . . and would love to win it! :)

Ru said...

All right, everyone before me out-clevered me, so here's just the generic comment, hoping for a book. :)

Keriann Greaney Martin said...

Going the comment route too. Love Cindy Pon! Met her in person a few times because she's in San Diego too :)