Why "It's Just a Joke" Doesn't Make It Okay

I had a little rant on Twitter earlier. It's primarily in response to Donald Trump's terrifying implication that maybe 2nd Amendment people can "do something" about Clinton, but it's also build up from years and years of online death threats to people followed up with "that's just the internet" and "geez, it's just a joke."

What's terrifying about Trump's joke is not the joke itself, but the fact that so many people are nodding along, the fact that he says crap like this all the time, the fact that he could conceivably be our next President, and...

Well here's what I said on Twitter.

Got a tweet rant incoming. Sorry. It ends with a monkey, though, so maybe stick around?

— Adam Heine (@adamheine) August 10, 2016

I used to get mad when people "couldn't take a joke." I didn't make the jokes, but I understood those that did. They made me laugh.

— Adam Heine (@adamheine) August 10, 2016

But you know why they made me laugh? Because I wasn't the target. Nobody was threatening me or laughing at my expense.

— Adam Heine (@adamheine) August 10, 2016

Except when they were. I've been bullied and I've been the bully. Joking is a major weapon in the bully's arsenal. Probably the primary one.

— Adam Heine (@adamheine) August 10, 2016

If you genuinely don't mean to hurt someone, then you'd apologize (genuinely) when called on it. But most don't, because most mean to hurt.

— Adam Heine (@adamheine) August 10, 2016

In those cases, "just joking" is a shield. "Hey, man, I didn't mean it. It was just a joke," we say as we laugh behind our hands.

— Adam Heine (@adamheine) August 10, 2016

How to know which jokes are OK? You don't. But when someone says, "That hurt me," the LOVING response is, "I didn't know, sorry. I'll stop."

— Adam Heine (@adamheine) August 10, 2016

With regard to death threats or "maybe 2nd amendment ppl can do something," there are several additional problems with "just joking":

— Adam Heine (@adamheine) August 10, 2016

1. It's impossible to tell when someone's joking. Especially online, those "jokes" sound the same as a psycho who intends to follow through.

— Adam Heine (@adamheine) August 10, 2016

1a. It is EXACTLY like a large, suited man saying, "This is a nice home you have. It would be a shame if something happened to it."

— Adam Heine (@adamheine) August 10, 2016

2. It implicitly makes the topic of the joke acceptable. Those who find it funny are vindicated. Those who don't are ostracized. It divides.

— Adam Heine (@adamheine) August 10, 2016

3. When you combine the above with anger, not only does the topic become justified, but so does the action implied by the joke.

— Adam Heine (@adamheine) August 10, 2016

4. And when the actions implied are being carried out in the country as we speak, those "jokes" are fuel on the fire.

— Adam Heine (@adamheine) August 10, 2016

5. And when it's someone in power making the jokes? Multiply the above effects by 11. More, probably.

— Adam Heine (@adamheine) August 10, 2016

There is no situation where death threats are okay. "It was just a joke" is shit justification.

— Adam Heine (@adamheine) August 10, 2016

To sum up: Death threats, no matter how veiled, are ALWAYS wrong. For other jokes, be thoughtful, be loving, and apologize when necessary.

— Adam Heine (@adamheine) August 10, 2016

Love is way more interesting and endearing than being funny.

— Adam Heine (@adamheine) August 10, 2016

And now a monkey's response to that tweetstorm. pic.twitter.com/0RVthqfZso

— Adam Heine (@adamheine) August 10, 2016