Guest Post: I Need Help. Who Am I?

Emmet is an old friend of mine from real life. He's alternately a craftsman, a house painter, a pastor, and despite his confusion here, a moderate-level geek. Right now he's in Africa "doing… you know, stuff." He sometimes thinks digitally at

After reading the request for guest bloggers I was struck by two nearly simultaneous thoughts. The first was, “Hey that sounds like fun.” The second was, “I don’t think I’m qualified to geek-out about drawing, writing, or… well Geekdom.” Don’t get me wrong, I can talk about all that stuff, but only as a visitor and not as a member. If there is one thing I’m almost 73% sure of (other than 82% of all statistics being made up), it’s that no member wants a visitor coming in and telling them how to run the place, it’s just not respectable.

This realization led me to the question, “What am I?” You see, several months ago I was on a hiking trip with a friend. One night we undertook the task of scientifically locking down the specific requirements and nuanced characteristics of many common “titles”.  A non-comprehensive sampling of the list includes, geeks, dorks, nerds, preps, D-bags, A-holes, and jerks. What is the difference between an A-hole and a jerk you ask? Well it comes down to levels of intent, dedication, and self-awareness. Oddly enough, as we basked in the glory of our accomplishment, we mutually confirmed our suspicions that none of these titles fundamentally applied to either one of us. If you disagree, I’m sorry, but you’re arguing with science, nothing we can do about it.

So what am I? I have an aptitude for strategic board games (if you are new to Ticket To Ride and pick up two black cards or a black and a green on your first turn, your destination is L.A. to Miami, trust me, it just is). I have an interest in video games, but I’m inept on a PC. I love LOTR but can’t tell you the name of Gandalf’s sword or make a clever pun in Elvish. I may be treated as an honorary geek or nerd in some gatherings, but the title would be purely situational. I certainly don’t own the T-shirt (you know who you are)(for the rest of you it’s Adam that I was talking about just there, you know with the “Geek” T-shirt and all… classic). 

I’m a fan of movies, but I’m not a “Film buff”. I love The Shatner but I’m not a Trekkie. That said, Seven of Nine is by far the hottest crewmember, or at least was up until the reincarnation of Uhura. Now they would have to fight for it… seriously, can we make that happen? Just checking. Likewise, I like Star Wars, but I fail at being a Fanboy. I just don’t have the energy, plus I’m a bigger fan of at least a dozen other movies. Yes, Han shot first; I mean come on, just because he doesn’t want to hear the odds, doesn’t mean he’s an idiot. When Jabba’s bounty hunter comes for you, you shoot him before he gets a chance to shoot you. Think people, this is common knowledge. I still wouldn’t write a strongly worded letter to Lucas, well okay, maybe for what he did to Jr., but not for the prequels or the continuous editing!

I find myself adept in many groups but not truly a member of any of them. I’d say that I was a poser or a chameleon, but I’m not faking interest, it’s just that my interest is passive and non-definitive. On the Myers-Briggs I’m an INTJ, also known as a “Mastermind”, which is pretty cool but hardly helpful. I mean henchman or wingman would have been more useful. Shoot, even Village Idiot would have been more definitive (stupid higher education).

Am I alone? When viewed comprehensively, are we all too complex to be classified, or am I just a member of a yet to be classified group? 

Please help!


Susan Kaye Quinn said...

I've found your title: Renaissance Geek (as in a Geek of many trades, not one of those guys that puts on a jester hat at the fair and makes other men shudder).

My husband is one of those INTJ types too, and you really need to not bet against those - because they always know the right answer, even when you're convinced they are wrong. :)

Thanks for my dose of geekdom today!

Adam Heine said...

Renaissance Geek. I like that for you, Emmet.

I'm an INTJ too. It took one of my daughters years to learn never to bet against me. I even told her: if I wasn't sure, I didn't bet :-)

And Mastermind is by far the coolest of the Myers-Briggs' labels. Just saying.

Carrien Blue said...

Oh Emmett,

You are a geek, just a geek with good enough interpersonal skills to appear cool as well.

I believe cool geek, or geek with friends, would apply.

If only you could manage to be shallow we could call you a hipster instead, but you suck at that. :)

Ricardo Bare said...

Hey guess what? I'm an INTJ too (last time I took it.)

Now, lemme take the geekery to another level: if you were a D&D class, you'd be a Bard.

Natalie Whipple said...

Wait, are you saying you want a label? Weird.

I've always been a bit of a Jack of all Trades as well. I know enough about a lot of things to sound reasonably intelligent, but not enough to be a pro.

I don't so much mind being in between, without a label.

Myrna Foster said...

Do you play Trivial Pursuit? Does anyone play Trivial Pursuit anymore with games like Ticket to Ride? I'm just saying that, if you're all you say you are, you'd be good at it.

Emmet said...

"Renaissance Geek" Or "Bard"? Does not being into RPG's restrict me from the bard title, or can RPG titles transcend interest? I'll have to mull those over for a bit, but I like them in principle.

Dodging "Hipster" is bittersweet for me, I actually took a Christian Hipster test and scored 62/120, and lets face it, that's a legitimate fail (I hate to fail, but I'm glad to not be a hipster, those guys are dorks).

Don't get me wrong, I'm a big fan of the mastermind thing, it's just hard to get your friends to describe you to their attractive single lady friends as, "Oh Emmet, yeah he's a mastermind." Not that that is the point of this or anything.

Love Trivial Pursuit by the way. It's been a few years, but the last time I played it we went with the 'Battle of the Sexes, Championship Rules' version... or guys vs. girls, team push-ups for wrong answers... my team didn't really do push-ups.

Emmet said...

Oh, and thanks Adam for lending me your blog. Us masterminds need to stick together. We should get together sometime and make a freeze-ray or something. Any idea where we can get some wonderflonium?

Adam Heine said...

I hear they're transporting some by courier van.

Emmet said...

Sweet, now all we need to do is gain remote access to the van.

Cindy Heine said...


You know, in our "beginning" days, I tried to put you in a category like there was in high school, and I could never do it. That's one of the things I like about you. You are a friend to all and easily likable (well, most of the time :)

Anyway, thanks for posting. It made me miss you more and also made me feel like you came to visit at the same time.

Emmet said...

Hey Cindy, glad you liked it. I hope to be able to actually visit before young miss Skywalker is actually walking. I may not make it that soon though.