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Remember, anyone who leaves a critique in the comments is eligible to win a 15-page critique from INCARNATE author, Jodi Meadows. Your critique doesn't have to be long, just useful.
We have a short one this week: a picture book query from Hilary Swann. My inline comments are to the side, with overall thoughts at the end. Everything here is just my opinion. Your mileage may vary.
|I think even with such small word|
counts, you're still supposed to
round to the nearest hundred.
Mia wants to celebrate Father's Day, but with two moms and no dad she doesn't quite know how. When her mom suggests making the day special, Mia has brunch, goes ice skating, and meets other families: some with dads and some without. Father's Day is story about embracing your family no matter what shape or size. It is
567 600 words.
I have to start by saying I haven't seen a lot of picture book queries. I believe you usually submit the entire manuscript along with the query, and so the query is more like a cover letter. Mary Kole over at KidLit.com seems to agree with me.
But that doesn't mean the query isn't important. This looks really short, but I have to admit, I like this concept and would read this.
The only thing I think you could add is a little more meat about the middle. Does she have brunch and go ice skating by herself? Does she do anything with the other families? Don't go crazy, because I think this already does its job: entice the agent or editor to read on.
What do the rest of you guys think? Would you read this?